Honey, I am home.
What should I do if you are home?
Don’t be a nag. I merely announced my arrival. You don’t really have to do anything.
Huh, what’s there to announce then? You just got home. It’s not that you won the World Cup or something.
Yes I know I merely got home. But I thought it would delight you to hear me again.
You thought wrong.
Ah, but last evening you seemed to be pretty gung ho about my return. Were you not?
Please. That was a mistake.
Don’t act like an irritating woman. Tell me what mistake.
Okay listen. It was a mistake on my part to harbor hopes of a romantic evening with you.
But I did romance with you… Umm…I mean we went to that movie, right? You should be
happy. The movie was good. Ranbir was amazing in that movie.
Yes, only he was.
Now what is that supposed to mean?
Don’t act oversmart you man. You know very well how itchy was your face. Had I known you won’t be shaving, I wouldn’t have gone to that movie or any movie for God’s sake.
You woman, how dare you accuse me after having a fully enjoyable outing. You ate the whole cake and now you say it was disgusting. I hate you, you WOMAN.
You dare not call me WOMAN in that stinky voice of yours.
I will. Do what you want.
GO TO HELL. I don’t care for any goddamn movie anymore. Come home at midnight for all I care. And just not come anywhere near me. You are as stinky as your week-long beard.
40 minutes later:
Ahem, I have shaved.
Why telling me? Why do I care?
Umm ya, I was just feeling hungry. Umm so I checked in to see if you are there.
I will get you something from the kitchen. Wait.
I was wondering dear wifey if that newly opened restaurant is really as good as they say.
Yeah, I was wondering the same.
Should we not go and see?
I think we should dine out tonight at that place. Will that be okay with you?
I have written this post acknowledging the tag of Surbhi Bafna's Santi Claus