Sunday, August 29, 2010

Stars never showed up.......

Jhanvi was a touch poignant. She craned her neck to look heavenwards but the clouds were thick and large. The night seemed sombre, the darkness was complete and moonlight was faint as a couple of rays peeped out of the curtain of clouds. She was all alone at the terrace as the clock chimed 2 am. Unable to find solace in sleep, she had come up silently even as her parents and young Rahul slept soundly. After all, destiny had rolled its dice; fate had conspired.
It was some 10 days ago that she had bumped into Sameer at Riya's birthday party. He appeared amiable and honest and had been exceptionally cordial when Riya introduced her to him. Smiles were exchanged, hesitant hands finally shaken and a soft 'Hi' spoken. As the evening grew on, some lines interchanged lips....mostly a few murmurs...some tentative whispers...some diffident words. The final straw came when he walked alongside her to the bus stop all alone. But when the bus arrived, the parting seemed strangely unbearable....Jhanvi took her seat but her head kept glancing out as he had turned to go....going...going...gone. The bus moved on.
The week that followed was agonizing. She kept tossing on her bed each night re-living that evening in her mind over and over again as if afraid to lose a sweet memory.
Rain had begun to trickle down in droplets throwing Jhanvi back to the terrace as she gazed at the gloomy void that was over her. How wonderful it had been yesterday. Jhanvi had summoned courage, battled nerves and telephoned Riya asking her Sameer's number. How a spine-chilling thrill had run through her nerved body as she saw her trembling fingers pressing the keypads. His voice seemed divine. She could feel him smiling warmly as he caressed her through his soft-spoken manner. She fumbled as he asked her to reach the Sunshine Cafe at 6. As she hung up, she sensed a tinge of excitement enveloping her entire self. 
A bolt of lightning split the sky as Jhanvi returned to her senses. The army of clouds above had conspired to keep the stars away from her. How she longed to look at those glittering gems and hunt for her love amidst the gloom. Her insides were screaming which the roaring cloud craftily muffled and the rain carefully blended with her tears. She waited for him till 8 but he never showed up. How could he when he got run over by the bus.......

(By Ritesh- 29th August, 2010)


  1. Well there goes the touche. well written...and the theory of angst was pretty well conceived.

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  3. This is simply mind-blowing stuff.....The language and style of writing has given me goosebumps...."The army of clouds above had conspired to keep the stars away from her." and "Her insides were screaming which the roaring cloud craftily muffled and the rain carefully blended with her tears." - Excellent word-building.....

  4. the more i read your writing, the more i am amazed... i love the freshness in your writing, and the way you build up the storyline...

    1. Hi Pathika. Thanks for your generous words. But my blog is not that popular. And even though your comment is pleasing to read, I have miles to go.
      Please keep visiting or read other posts and feel free to make what they call 'constructive criticism'. :)


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