Wednesday, May 1, 2013

55 word story: Clouded






The septuagenarian stood timidly on crossroads.

His wrinkled face, creased in frown, mulled over the right direction. Passersby hardly paid notice to his untied laces; no one guided him when he headed towards the wrong house.

 He tried to call his son from a PCO, but his mind was clouded; Alzheimer’s hovered over his memories. 



30 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. k now ell me what's the secret behind your 55ers? How come all of them turn ot so good han? I need tips!

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    2. All are not that good.

      It's just that I'm good in this genre, just like you are good with poems. Sabka apna apna strength hota hai.

      Tip would be that the plot has to be deeper. I have found that most bloggers stitch up an anecdote with a surprising ending. But an anecdote is different from a story, which has far more depth and emotional value.

      So, I try to write a story and not an anecdote. But a good anecdote which is very funny (like your 'secret') is also something which would satisfy any reader.

      PS- Your 'secret' was the best I have read so far. ^_^

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    3. Btw, Rats.. the secret you are talking about here... isn't that mine? :(

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    4. Oh yea, m so sorry...I often mix up your posts with the ones of Bushra. U two have pretty similar style of blogging :)

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    5. Ha ha! I was confused....i mean *what is Ritesh talking about* was my thought :D anyways thanks for the tips Ritz!!!!!

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  2. Alzheimer’s the cleverest thief...
    it steals away memories that we need most

    interesting read !!

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  3. Alzheimer's is indeed a bad condition. . Good work. .

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    Replies
    1. Hello Rohan. It is indeed so. Thanks for taking time out to read my post :)

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  4. wow. Alzheimer wipes away the memories. very deep. very good.

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    Replies
    1. Yes it does....dont let it catch u :)

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  5. so much you say in so less !! Ritesh I am bad at reading wrong novelish stuff .. to be honest .. at least not stories ..and you are real good at what I love the most .. few sentences and enough food for thoughts :) !! So heres My SUPPA LIKE for this great story !!

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    Replies
    1. Hey thank you so much...am glad you liked it though this wasn't my best 55er

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  6. That is a thoughtful story about Alzheimer's disease..

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  7. ok so his disease clouded his mind. btw as a medical student I must tell you that Alzheimer's is an interesting condition to read and really unfortunate to be suffering from!

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  8. Alzheimer...are dreadful..and only a person who is suffering from it can realize how it living with it...for others it's only visualizing over the gloomy shades...!!!

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