Once upon a page...: If you are a woman, learn to say NO

Thursday, December 12, 2013

If you are a woman, learn to say NO

Source: Google Image

Women in our country are unfortunately still considered a commodity by the chauvinistic male class and the biggest example of this chauvinism surfaces during match-making. Ironically, today’s youth has the temerity to call itself a trend-setter, a pioneer and a social reformer. The men attend, in thousands, all those candle-march processions and protests which have become frequent of late. But when it comes to marriage, they still like to call all the shots and be the dominating partner. Frankly, there is no harm in trying to dominate when it comes to making the final decisions or calling for some urgent changes in the couple’s lifestyle. But most men pose as if they are the divine commanders of their wives who must always act subservient before them.

Cases of dowry are still pretty common even in the so-called urban India. Unfortunately, the girl’s parents too should be censured for the act since instead of protesting, they often support the system and are only too happy to part with gifts and cash with a cheesy smile.

Why do men enforce their decisions over their wives once the marital vows are taken? If a woman wishes to continue with her career, why does she have to sacrifice it just because her husband is keener on her staying at home and cooking him good food every day? Why does she have to unhook her buttons and gratify him sexually if he so demands, even if she does not want to do it every night of her own free will?

But she submits, she turns docile and she becomes the very woman her husband wants her to become. So, who is at the greatest fault here?

No, it is not the husband, no matter how bestial he may be! No, it is not the girl’s parents, no matter how low they may stoop in their desperation to marry off their daughter!

It is the girl herself who allows her parents to marry her off to somebody who accepts dowry with both hands, who allows her husband to decide her future for her, who allows her body to get martially raped by her ever-hungry sleeping partner.

The only way a change can be brought about is to turn steely and resolute. If you are a woman, you need to learn to say NO. It may be hard on you at first; it may even disturb the family harmony and may also turn your husband against you. But this is the only way forward, the only way to eliminate chauvinism from the Indian society.