Harry Potter series rewritten in FB style

On his 11^th birthday, Harry Potter received a request, in the form of an e-letter, which he accepted. He had now become eligible to join the Hogwarts Institution. Hagrid, a veteran employee of the institution, helped Harry fill the application form and gave him the URL of the school’s location.

After Harry joined Hogwarts, he learnt of Voldemort, one of the evilest and darkest hackers of all times. With the help of Wormtail, a local technician, Voldemort had stolen the secret password of Lily and James (Harry’s parents) and deleted their accounts. Voldemort also tried to delete Harry’s account (who was barely one year old at the time) but somehow lost access to his own profile.

But Albus Dumbledore, the CEO of Hogwarts, was sure that Voldemort would soon resurrect with a new profile and he would be stronger and far more dangerous.

In his 4^th year with Hogwarts, while playing an online Flash game called Triwizard Tournament, Harry clicked a phishing link which sent him to an unknown restricted site. There Harry saw Wormtail helping Voldemort create a new account. Voldemort used Harry’s old password (acquired through phishing) to set up his new account. This made his account more secure and powerful. In his euphoria, Voldemort wanted to create a page titled ‘Harry Potter flows in my blood’ but found that a page by such a name already existed.

Voldemort tried to delete Harry’s account but for some technical flaws existing in their twin wires, Harry escaped. Alerted by Harry’s timely warning, Dumbledore pinged all his old members and reactivated his group called ‘Order of the Phoenix’. Harry and his friends Ron, Fred, George, Ginny and Hermione also wanted to join the group and sent requests but the chief admin Mrs. Weasley turned them down. 

Meanwhile, Voldemort had reactivated his own group called ‘Death Eaters’ who were seasoned hackers and rejoiced in destroying the laptops of Muggles.

A Facebook application called ‘Your future prediction’ had revealed that Voldemort won’t survive as long as Harry survived. So, Voldemort was determined to delete Harry’s account forever. On the other hand, Harry learnt that he would have to delete Voldemort’s account or else be ready to get logged off for ever.

A video file, which was saved in a secret folder in Horace Slughorn’s desktop, confirmed Dumbledore’s deep-rooted suspicion. Voldemort had 7 profiles secured under different passwords. The onus rested on Harry to hunt down all the profiles and to delete them one by one.

Harry, Ron and the super-smart Hermione spent many days glued to their laptops and trying to trace out Voldemort’s profiles. They initially searched using his name on the search bar. But it yielded no result. Moreover, they soon realized that his named was ‘tabooed’. Typing down his name would automatically lead to an internet disconnection.  In desperation, desolation, anger and a moment of madness, Ron unfriended the two and went away. But he soon added them back and helped delete one of Voldemort’s profiles forever. Hermione was unwilling to accept him back in her ‘close friends’ list but later she relented.

Finally, with time, the trio destroyed most of Voldemort’s profiles. But at the end stage, Severus Snape e-mailed Harry and shared his two decades of FB conversation with Dumbledore. To his horror, Harry realized that his own profile concealed a part of Voldemort’s profile. So, Harry would have to delete himself to delete his adversary.

Harry made himself ‘visible’ to Voldemort who laughingly deleted his account. But instead of getting disconnected completely, Harry got directed to a website where he found Dumbledore online. The two chatted for a while and Dumbledore filled him up with some technical secrets and knowledge.

‘Harry, you can get your profile back, if you want to,’ said Dumbledore.

‘But Sir, is this real or is it happening just inside my CPU.’

‘Of course, it is happening inside your CPU. But why should it not be real,’ Dumbledore smiled his mystical smile.

Harry got access to his profile. Voldemort had hacked the main website of Hogwarts and was planning to create his own e-empire. Harry was delighted to see that there were so many in his contacts who were fighting for him. Even Percy, who had earlier blocked his entire family, had unblocked them and was fighting against Voldemort.

In a final showdown, Harry, who had become the master of the Elderly Wire, defeated Voldemort and deleted his last remaining profile. The Internet world celebrated as it was now free from the atrocities of the most evil hacker of all times. Harry and Ron changed their relationship status to ‘Committed’ where they received likes and comments from everyone. All was well!

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[Author's Note: Being a devout HP fan, I look forward to meeting new co-HP fans from the blogging community. If you are one, you can also check out my facebook page Harry Potter Flows in my Blood.